Tuesday, February 23, 2010

What Do I Want?

I invariably get asked that from a perspective partner. Sure, I Internet date trying to find someone to share my life with. The thing is that there appear to be very few women in my country and in my age category that want to share just the sexual side of their lives. I frequent to dedicated dating sites, Lavalife and POF.

Most of the profiles on Lava in the Intimate Section are looking for more than sexual intimacy. They are looking for emotional intimacy as well. Which is totally fine. I have no problems with that. It is the profiles on Lava that profess to have a need for sexual intimacy that are problematic. They say they want to fuck and be fucked but what they really mean is if you come off agreeing with them then you plan to mind fuck them as well. Seriously, 80% of the women that portray themselves with a more male oriented sexuality really want the whole enchilada. Its not like I am a serial Lavalifer but I have initiated contact with women and many of them would be subject to charges of false advertising.

I do get asked what I am looking for and I relate my needs to them. Right now...sex friends. And not just sex only friends but a companion to share other aspects of social life with. I am just not into committing to anything more and I have had a very wonderful sex friend relationship in the past and it worked well. As with all friendships it was not perfect but we both gave to each other a level of honesty and connection many romantic and apparently loving relationships lack.

POF is a whole different story. The women in the Intimate section are more assertive in their needs and since I am not black I am apparently out of luck. Which begs the question:  Can I sue for race discrimination because I am NOT black and NOT well hung (if being 10 inches in greater is the criteria I am well and truly fucked).

The women profiling at POF have a definite maleness to their attitude about sex. They appear to know what they want and know how to express it but it lacks the connection of my idea about sex friends. Most of these women want to be fucked once by many men. Hey, no judgment here but where is the happy medium?

Someone should create a dating site that is called www.lookingforsexfriends.com or something because right now, in my limited experience, the two sites I have experience have a huge void for those of us, male and female, looking for something less than romance and more than a "wham-bam thank you ma'am" vibe.

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