Wednesday, January 13, 2010

The Schools and the Girls that Populate them...

I live in an area where there are 4 major post-secondary learning institutions. As I work at a major computer retailer and service provider I get to meet the girls/woman that attend those insitutions and I have come to some rather sweeping generalizations of what these female members of the human race are like...

My Alma Mater....

Typically women that attend U of W and come in for computer service are:

Environmental Studies:  Earthy and to the point but not very attractive to me at least. Directed and focused.

Asian Students of Unknown Major/Minor:  Seriously. These women do not seem to have a major or direction but given my penchant for Asian women I invariably forgive them and attend to their every need. Sometimes I get the impression that they know a lot more English then they let on and play "stupid" to leverage their femininity at my expense. Sadly, that does not work on me because I am an equal opportunity capitalist and if you want something from me you have to pay for its. Any anyways, being totally male and mercencary, you not going to put out for me anyways so move on.

Booties and scarves...

Typically they are the best dressed and have the best computers but do not seem to have any scholastic focus. I think they are here in Canada building time to be able to claim immigration status.

We never ever get any computer science or engineering students here.

Arts Students:  For some reason psychology majors get a lot of viruses. See enviromental studies for description but dressed less earthy.

Oh yes, U of W's nemisis WLU.

Cuter and blonder and definitely more upwardly mobile than Waterloo students the main faculties that come to me are:

Business:  The most neurotic of all the majors. Focused but in a unhealthy way. Like "I have to be on top of my game all the time and if I let loose for one minute (minus the drinking and bingeing at the frat parties I go to) I will loose my edge and be banished to become a history major. The major that wears mostly jeans.

Marketing/Communications:  Articulate (so sexy) and cute. Less focused than the business students (or more commonly called biz-knobs) but serious. Into words (so sexy) and more stylishly dressed. A favourite of mine.

History:  More prone to viruses than business or marketing/communications for some reason. Generally more grounded that business but less realistic than M/C.

University of Guelph...the best campus in the area. A mixture of the old and new. Apparently the most bars per capita than any other university in Canada. Guelph. Aggies and Computer Science.

Micro-Biology:  If all scientists looked like that we would be super-funding science.

In general U of Goo (as I like to call it) students are the MOST attractive and well rounded people. Direct, frank and interested in life. Not self-absorbed like WLU business students or U of W's Asian students. A pleasure to talk to and help.

And finally Conestoga. For the Americans please note that Colleges, generally, in Canada denote a more technical and focuses cirriculum that a university. I think your equivalent would be community colleges.

Nursing:  (Which is a university affiliated course through McMaster). Very focused and directed. No nonsense.

Other Faculties:  Sorry but...less focused and directed.

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