Too Funny

I have written in the past about my lingerie buying forays for and with my partners. Well this week my mom was at a surprise birthday party of a friend's and this weekend I was home for a spot of dinner and conversation.

Mom:  Yes the party was great and several people were asking after you.

Me:  Like who mom?

Mom:  Well X, Y's mother from your high school and D who is F's mother from Cubs.

(How do women remember these connections?)

Me:  That's nice. [Insert general comments and observations from above.]

Mom:  Oh and Rosiland.

Me:  Looking quizzical.

Mom:  You know, from Rosiland's Lingerie. [It is not called that now that Rosiland sold it to her staff.]

Me:  Oh?

Mom:  Yes. She commented on how you used to come in all the time and that you were one of her favourite customers. She remembers you buying a lot of lingerie.

Me:  Beet red.

Mom:  Oh yes, and that time she dressed up as a maid for you.

Me:  [Oh MY GOD! I had completely forgotten about THAT!]

Me:  That's nice.

Mom:  Looks at me with a hint of concern and suspicion.

See, the maid thing is true. In fact I concocted the idea to present my partner with a special gift on her birthday. I had made reservations at a restaurant just down from Rosiland's store that was a favourite of ours. In fact, we had a special table that we were always given by the owners as we were such great customers. This was the penultimate table in the whole restaurant and highly prized because it was the only window table in a restaurant that was very thin in its width as its width only allowed one row of table.

The evening before my partner's birthday I went and bought a lovely nightgown set for her birthday. In Rosiland's terms it was a 50/50 gift. Part of it was for my woman and part of it was for me. It was a very expensive gift and Rosalind inquired as to when my partner's birthday was, in part to update her records.

[Take a tip here lingerie store owners - Get the birthdays of all your clients and the contact information of their significant others and then call the SO 2 weeks before the birthday and have them come in and buy something. Rosalind was great at marketing.]

Rosalind smiled and suggested a special way of presenting the gift. Since her store would be just closing as we were being served dessert she offered to deliver the gift specially wrapped to my partner at the restaurant.

I agreed knowing little of Rosalind's real plan. I was facing the direction from which Rosalind would come from and as the time neared I was hoping the timing would mesh as there was no way for her to know exactly when our dessert would be served. Plus my partner was wondering if all she was getting was this dinner. No gift from me...so far.

Then I see her. Rosalind in a black silk maid's dress, with black seamed stockings and heels. It was not one of those off-the-rack uniforms from some stag shop. It was, as far as I could tell, a real maids uniform with the accentuation of classic 3 inch pumps and stockings. Rosalind walks in, the customers' mouths gape open (the restaurant was full) and she curtsies at our table and says, "A package for you Ma'am." Hands the package to my partner and curtsies again and leaves.

I am now laughing my ass off. My partner is stunned. The patrons are quizzical and confused and Rosalind made my present very memorable for me and my partner. Bless her wonderful heart!